Sometimes I feel so confused about the words abstinence and food plan that are thrown around OA. People treat them like they are the same thing. I know this program is supposed to be simple but I find it rarely is because we make it more complex than it needs to be. I am on a mission to get and bring clarity with some of the terms I hear at meetings, and what they mean. Of course these are my definition, so I encourage you to find your own clarity using approved AA or OA literature.
What is the difference between abstinence and a food plan?
We practice abstinence from compulsive overeating. My food plan, then, is a tool I use to get, and maintain abstinence.
There are times in my program when life happens, and I am not able to eat my planned meal. For example, as I am reaching for my lunch bag I realize that I left it on my counter at home. Well, my food plan changes because I need to buy lunch. I always try to get something close to what I planned but it does not always work out. In this case I did not follow my food plan but I did not overeat so my abstinence is good.
My office likes to celebrate and have food days every so often. I will bring something that I can eat; I plan what my meal will look like. I have a personal rule in situations like this where I will have a small plate and one serving only and will not eat my trigger foods. One such food day, I ate my planned meal then about an hour after I finished eating, I grabbed a couple carrots. Carrots are not a trigger for me, but I do not eat between meals. I was simply not being mindful and in went the food. I broke my abstinence.
I have heard it argued that because the food was not a trigger, or because it was only 1 or 2, then it was not a binge. Then it not a slip/break in abstinence.
I understand compulsion to mean an inability to resist. In eating those carrots, I exhibited just that. I was not hungry. No one was forcing me to eat them.
I am different from “normal” eaters. I cannot be unmindful when I eat. Because I am an addict, those two carrots will turn into four. Then I give myself permission to do it every day. And one day the moment will come when carrots are not available and I am looking for a substitute. My illness will give me permission to substitute carrots with chocolate.
I accept Step One. I am powerless over food. This means I accept the definition of abstinence laid out in the dictionary and by OA World Service, even though it is not an easy pill to swallow. The easier softer way I used to follow had me eating from morning till bedtime, hating myself, and miserable to be around. Being abstinent I eat my meals, am learning to like myself, and have serenity. Not the easiest choice to make, but I think I will follow the 12 Steps and the path to long term abstinence.
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